Last night I had a great pleasure. I saw my mother's face in my dreams. I am glad she didnn't forget about her dauther here, who's been waiting for this for a long time.
We were going home after shopping, I had all bags in my hand and as soon as we got inside the building, my mother's face got all pale. She started to tremble somehow and I knew something is wrong. I asked her to take the elevator without me, with all bags down, and wait for me when she gets there. I ran on the staires, but a lady was putting somehow many flowerpots down, on the staries so that made me run slower. After -finally- arriving there, the door at the elevator was empty, with the door opened and it was too much white light inside. I ran inside the house, of course all the bags were already on the floor, but my mother was more pale than she was before, trembling and sweaty, and I started to argue her a lot: why she didn't wait, that I told her to wait, that she doesn't take care of herself...Basically that was all, after that I woke up.
The weirdest part was that, somehow, I realized she is dead in real life, but on the other hand, everything looked so real. :(
I miss you mommy, I miss you everyday and I can't stop thinking of you. I wish I could do more to save you. I am sorry for not being able to save you, for being such a bad daugther to you. I apologize that I left you all alone just because I wanted to follow my stupid dream. I lost precious time without being next to you. I hope you can forgive me, mom.
나는 당신을 진짜 보고 싶다.... (=I really miss you.)
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